


Only Connect

by Midnight_Snow (SparkyCola3)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dirk Gently Needs a Hug, Dirk Gently Whump, Dirk is pretending to be fine, Farah is a bad ass, Gen, He's not fooling anyone, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mona is super stealth agent, Poor Holistic Cinnamon Roll, Project Blackwing (Dirk Gently), Protective Friends in general, Protective Todd, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27140587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparkyCola3/pseuds/Midnight_Snow
Summary: Summary: a slightly darker one in which Blackwing try to control Dirk outside Blackwing, and despite his best efforts at total denial, Dirk hits a breaking point. It’s all the final catalyst for the team to take on Blackwing once and for all…including some help from unexpected quarters.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Chapter 1

Unless something was very wrong, Dirk was surprisingly reliable in answering his phone. He could be doing almost anything, driving in a high-speed car chase, taking a shower, running away from a possessed vacuum cleaner…. He seemed to enjoy the whole concept of someone actively wanting to speak to him, no matter what he was doing.

That’s how Todd knew something was seriously wrong now, after an afternoon of searching high and low, 23 voicemails later, and failing to track Dirk’s phone location.

Todd and Farah did not get much sleep, and called in Amanda and the Rowdy 3 from their current position in Wisconsin to help.

It was around 11am the next day when Todd got a knock on the door and opened it to find the detective leaning on the wall opposite his front door.

"Dirk!" Todd said, with relief and concern. "We've been looking everywhere for you - are you ok?

"Everything's fine." Dirk said, a little zoned out. Todd had never seen anyone looking so far from fine in his life, and he'd seen many, many not-ok people in his time.

Dirk had bruises on all visible patches of skin, a cut over his eye with a butterfly strip over it, his clothes were covered in dust and blood. His left arm was in a sling, with a cast covering his arm and hand from view completely.

He had a sheen of cold sweat and looked paler than Todd would have thought possible from a living person.

"Jesus fuck Dirk what happened" he pulled Dirk into the apartment, ignoring the way his friend flinched at his touch. He sent off a quick text to Farah.

"There was some Blackwing unpleasantness but I'm home now" Dirk said before passing out. Todd managed to catch him before he hit the floor and just about got him to the sofa.

Farah came up from the agency and looked at Dirk with unmasked relief before it turned to concern.

"He said Blackwing took him... and then passed out" Todd updated her.

She knelt by him and started cataloguing injuries.

"He's been beaten up pretty badly... his arm and fingers are broken, a couple of ribs...he has a lot of internal bleeding and what looks like a knife wound in his leg...all bandaged up" she stood and turned to Todd.

"Why would Blackwing kidnap Dirk, beat him up, bandage him, and then send him back to us? Are they trying to send a message that they can get to him whenever they want?"

"I'm pretty sure Dirk knew that already." Todd said, thinking of all the trouble Dirk had sleeping, the nightmares, the way he looked sometimes when Blackwing were mentioned.

"He needs to get his strength back... do you have any soup?"

"I'm on it" Todd said, going to the kitchen.

When Todd returned, Dirk was starting to stir. He put the bowl on the coffee table and knelt by him, Farah on the other side.

"Todd...Farah..." Dirk's voice sounded relieved and Todd took his good hand. There was a bandage over the wrist.

"Dirk, why did Blackwing do this to you?" Farah asked.

He sat up with difficulty.

"They wanted to talk to me."

Farah handed him some painkillers and water, which he took.

"About what?"

"About my ‘future’ with them."

"And that involved beating the shit out of you?" Todd muttered, bitterly.

"Oh...that was Mr. Priest. There was no reason for that but, Mr. Priest doesn't _need_ a reason. He never liked me. Or maybe this is just his way of showing affection..."

Dirk put a hand on his head and closed his eyes.

"I made some soup." Todd said, helping him to eat some of it.

"Thanks Todd, excellent assisting, I haven't eaten since yesterday."

After eating about a third of it, Dirk seemed to have exhausted his energy, and clearly had trouble keeping his eyes open.

"Rest ok? We'll talk more later."

"It will be ok Todd. Everything will be ok." Dirk said, and despite the reassuring intent, something about it made Todd worry more rather than less.

While he slept, they swapped news with Amanda, who confirmed they were still en route, and hadn’t seen anything of Blackwing on their side.

About an hour later, Dirk woke with a start, sitting upright. A couple of panicked breaths made him start coughing, and he winced from the pain, huddled on himself looking thoroughly miserable.

"Hey..." Todd gave him some water. "I'll get you some more soup and then you can try and sleep some more."

"I'm promoting you to Nurse." Dirk mumbled, distractedly.

The day went on like that until early evening when Dirk started to feel well enough to have some dinner with them. Then he went to bed with the aid of some of Farah's sleeping pills and some painkillers.

The next morning Todd helped, with less embarrassment than he'd expected, to get Dirk out of the dusty blood stained clothes and into the shower; or at least, down to a vest and boxers, Dirk insisted that he could "take it from here thank you Todd". Farah changed the dressing on his leg and helped him with the shirt he was struggling to put on.

This small flurry of activity seemed to drain him again so he went back for more sleep, after a light breakfast. By lunch time though, he seemed noticeably better for the first time.

He hobbled over to join them for lunch.

"So what have I missed?" He asked brightly.

"Missed?" Todd asked incredulously.

"While I was out of action."

"Dirk... we spent all that time _searching_ for you. What did you think we were doing?" he shook his head.

"Yes but I've just been asleep for a day and a half and you weren't searching for me then, _anything_ can happen in a day and a half Todd. Whole cases have been solved in that time before now - there was one in this little village in East Sussex-"

"Dirk... stop, you need to take it easy" Farah advised.

"I feel a lot better Farah."

Todd frowned. "Well then maybe you can tell us what the hell's going on and what Blackwing wanted with you yesterday."

"It's not important. I'll explain later. It...it's fine."

"Fine. Really? Fine." Todd echoed disbelievingly.

"Yes Todd everything's fine" Dirk said impatiently. "Everything is absolute fineness personified, completely and totally, _unbearably_ brimming over with fineness."

"Well. I'm convinced." Todd said drily with a look at Farah.

Dirk's face clouded over for a moment, and Todd got a glimpse of real, raw pain that startled him.

Farah tried to catch his eye but couldn't. Dirk sighed.

"Can't I just enjoy this time with my friends without talking about bloody Blackwing for one day?" he said, sounding tired again, and Todd glanced at Farah with a shared look of concern before caving.

"Ok. Maybe we should just watch some TV for a bit. Just hang out?"

"Yes. Exactly. Just hanging out is exactly what I want to do right now." Dirk said, perking up.

They spent the rest of the afternoon pretending to watch TV while all being deep in thought.

After dinner, Dirk seemed to be getting more and more antsy.

"Dirk, look - I know you don't want to talk about it, but I don't think I can handle not knowing any longer. Please would you fill us in?" Todd said.

Dirk sighed "Ok but I don't want you to make it into a bigger deal than it is."

"Blackwing's always a big deal." Farah stated. She put a hand on his, reassuringly. "Just tell us."

Dirk swallowed nervously.

"They put a chip in me." he said, reluctantly, "so they can track me at all times. Two actually, one in my wrist, and one in my neck attached to my spinal cord."

Dirk undid the bandage on his right wrist and showed them a brand of the Icarus logo, over a small surgical scar. Todd stared at it in horror, momentarily forgetting to breathe.

"They want me to solve cases out here, while they watch and take notes. I have to report in every day at 8pm."

Farah looked at her watch and noticed it was nearly time.

"Are those... did they fucking _brand_ you?" Todd asked incredulously, taking Dirk's wrist and confirming what he'd seen. Dirk flinched at his touch, looking guilty at his own reaction.

"They put a _chip_ in you" Farah said with a hardness of tone that made Dirk tense.

"It's not …ideal" Dirk said "But it's fine. It has to be. This must be what the universe wants."

"It is NOT ... _fine_ Dirk" Todd said in horrified shock.

"Yes, it is!" Dirk snapped, surprising them both. "Wait, what time is it?"

Before they could answer, Dirk's phone rang.

The sound seemed to echo eerily in the room.

Dirk looked at the caller ID, sighed, and answered the phone reluctantly.

"Nothing to report. ... No cases have appeared. ....Yes I know. ... Yes...I know... YES I KNOW look, you won't get away with this, the universe will-"

Dirk yelped in pain as electricity ran through him for a few seconds, leaving him doubled over and breathless. He'd dropped his phone, and the call hung up.

"Dirk - shit, are you ok? What the hell was that?" Todd ran to his friend.

"They - they can electrocute you remotely?" Farah speculated and Dirk nodded, straightening.

"If I try and escape or don't do what they tell me... or answer back, apparently..."

Todd looked pale as the magnitude of the situation sunk in. Blackwing had taken control of Dirk like he was their personal puppet. The way Blackwing were using him... it was sick.

"Todd ... are you all right?" Dirk asked in concern as Farah paced up and down. Todd looked at him in a daze.

"I'm not all right Dirk. This is... this is so fucked up... this is..." he shook his head.

"It's not...how I'd imagined things turning out." Dirk said, diplomatically "but look at it this way. I'm doing exactly what I would be doing anyway, I just have to report in to the CIA at the end of every evening. I'm not stuck in Blackwing doing stupid tests, I get to be out here with you"

Todd looked at his best friend, desperately trying to spin this as an acceptable situation. He didn't believe that Dirk was ok with it. But he couldn't bear to put into words just how unutterably fucked up it was when he couldn't think of any way out of it.

"We'll figure this out ok?" he said, annoyed at how doubtful he sounded to himself.

Farah stopped pacing abruptly and spun on them both, planting her hands on the table "We Are Going...To Figure This Out." she said, with the absolute certainty that Todd had lacked. She looked Dirk in the eye, but he looked down.

When he looked up again his eyes were too bright and the cheerfulness too brittle. "Well if anyone can it's us. Really we've been through _far_ worse than this and always come out of it in more or less one piece so..."

"You don't have to pretend to be ok with it Dirk." Todd said, softly. Dirk looked at him with a look of betrayal that stung him, as though it were Todd's duty as a friend to go along with the fantasy that everything was 'fine'.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." Dirk announced, and limped back to his bedroom.

Farah took Todd's hand in solidarity, understanding how upset he was.

"Todd, I'm going to start putting in motion some plans I've been thinking about for a while."

"What can I do?"

"Right now, I need you to look after Dirk. He's ...not ok."

Todd looked at Dirk's bedroom door, uncharacteristically closed, and nodded.

"Where are you going?" He asked as she grabbed a coat.

"To the office. I need to speak to Mona. Last time I saw her she was being a coat rack in reception."


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning Farah was nowhere to be found, Todd supposed she was still ‘putting plans into motion’

Todd didn’t sleep well, every time he thought of the injustice of the situation it made him angry, which was not conducive to sleep. Dirk was already in the kitchen when Todd padded in, wearing his mexican funeral t-shirt. Todd knew that in theory he was healing, but he almost looked worse as the bruises deepened in colour on his face and arms.

“Morning.” He said “I’m making a strawberry milkshake, do you want one?”

“Coffee” Todd stated

“Coffee milkshake or just regular coffee?”

“Coffee” he repeated, going to the coffee machine.

He saw Dirk struggling to scoop out ice-cream one-handed and took over, without comment.

“Thanks Todd” Dirk beamed. Todd glanced at the bandage on Dirk’s wrist by accident, and carefully looked away, concealing his anger. Dirk noticed, but pretended not to.

“I’ll make some toast.” He said.

The phone rang and Dirk tensed. It was yet another thing Blackwing had taken away from him: his joy at being called had been replaced by pure dread.

“Hello?” Dirk answered with a coldness Todd wasn’t used to hearing from him.

“And what if I don’t want to- “ he twitched violently as a short electric shock went through him “Yes all right you’ve made your point, fine I’ll go and wander about aimlessly and see if anything happens because you have nothing better to do than follow a not-psychic detective around all day.”

Dirk hung up on them, and then tensed for a couple of seconds, waiting to see if he’d be punished for this insubordination, but they apparently let it go and he breathed out in relief.

“Apparently the universe doesn’t work fast enough for them, they want me to go out and try and find a case.”

He looked at his hand and Todd noticed it twitching slightly.

“I’ve spent half my life being electrocuted, I really ought to be used to it by now.” Dirk said with a sigh. “Oh well, on the plus we can get breakfast at that bakery on the corner.”

Sometimes Dirk made Todd’s head spin, combining the unbearably depressing with the doggedly optimistic.

They spent the day idly wandering around. Normally, Dirk would be excitedly hoping for a case, but today he hoped they wouldn’t find a thing. Todd could tell, despite all his attempts to draw the detective out failing as Dirk feigned enthusiasm for a case, for any potential clue or passing oddity.

Dirk would change the subject, or prevent him getting a word in edgeways, or otherwise block any attempt to address the elephant in the room. Towards the end of the day he was getting so tired that Todd just didn’t have the heart to take advantage.

Todd had thought the Cardenas case had been bad, where Dirk had been openly depressed and miserable, but him trying to hide it was so much worse.

\--------

“Are you going to let me in on the plan or what?” Todd asked Farah when they were alone. He was delivering Chinese takeaway to her before returning with his and Dirk’s to their apartment.

“Todd, I’m not excluding you, I just really need you to stay with Dirk. You’re the only one I trust right now to protect him while I make the arrangements.”

“I need to do something Farah, I can’t stand it. I hate sitting by, watching them push Dirk around, watching him _pretend_ he’s ok with it, when I know it’s killing him inside, Farah – _please_ , just let me _do_ something. I have to do something or I’m going to go crazy”

Farah looked at him with sympathy. He knew if anyone would understand this need, it was her, and he was right as she sighed.

“Ok. Ok. Come with me tonight. I need back up and Mona’s getting a message to the Rowdy 3. Right now I don’t trust any other form of communication”

“You’ve got Mona playing carrier pigeon? That’s… a brilliant idea”

“Thanks. But I don’t like the idea of leaving Dirk on his own.”

“We’ll wait until he’s asleep.”

“Ok. We won’t be long anyway, an hour max.”

\----------

The 8pm phone call came and Dirk answered it mechanically.

“Nothing to report.” He said. Todd watched him close his eyes and tense at whatever they had said on the other end. “Nothing to report _sir”_ he corrected, making Todd’s blood boil. “No….yes ….yes sir I will try harder tomorrow.” He said in a monotone, and looked at the phone as Blackwing ended the call. He sighed in relief that it was over.

“Tea?” Todd asked, knowing it was the only thing he could say right now that would be right, and Dirk nodded gratefully.

On the sofa, each with a drink in hand, Todd tried one last time.

“Are you going to keep pretending this is ok?”

“I have friends, I have a home, I have my dream job, I have plenty to be grateful for and more than I ever had growing up.” Dirk said as though to himself rather than to Todd. “and anyway, who am I to argue with what the Universe wants? It’s never cared about what I wanted before now … just same old same old really. I have to be ok with it. There’s no other choice.”

“No, you don’t, Dirk. You don’t have to be ok with this, it’s normal to feel angry and upset and –“

“I can’t Todd, I just -” Dirk avoided looking at him. “It’s been a long day and I … I’m going to go to sleep.”

Todd sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

“But thank you Todd. I mean it. Thank you – for everything.” Dirk said before turning and disappearing into his bedroom. Todd stared after him. Once again, the seemingly reassuring words had left him with an icy dread and he wasn’t sure why, but he was sick of the feeling. He was more determined than ever to do something about this rather than just sit around and watch his best friend disintegrate before his eyes.

When he was sure Dirk was asleep, Todd put his coat on and met up with Farah.

\----------

Farah had her gun drawn, finger on trigger, aimed straight at the man. She hoped she wouldn't come to regret this. The underground car park was not so dark that she didn't have a very clear shot.

"Every instinct in my body right now is telling me to kill you where you stand and walk away." She said coldly.

"Well Miss Black, I assume you didn't ask me here just to kill me." he replied with his hands slightly raised, placatingly but also patronisingly, in a way that irritated her.

She glared at him a little longer, and then lowered her gun, though didn't reholster it.

"Dirk doesn't know I'm here. He also doesn't know that while we were looking for him, I got access to his Blackwing file and I...read it." she said, with defiance rather than guilt. She did, in fact, feel guilty about it, but she wasn't about to broadcast that.

"So I know, Colonel Riggins. I know _what you did_ to Dirk when he was a child. What you did...to _my friend."_ the ice-cold fury in her voice and her eyes was enough to make a long-standing CIA agent and military colonel fidget slightly.

Todd was crouched behind a car, ready to act as back up, getaway driver, witness, whatever was needed. Farah hadn't told him about the file, and he wished he knew what was in it to make Farah so angry that it even made him shiver, and not for the first time extremely grateful that they were on the same side.

Colonel Riggins straightened. "I was doing my job. At the time I believed it was necessary."

“You thought that torturing a child was…necessary?” she said in icy contempt.

Colonel Riggins narrowed his eyes, jaw twitching slightly, but said nothing.

There was a silence where Farah looked him unflinchingly in the eye before finally asking the main question.

"And now?"

Riggins frowned slightly, and sighed, giving up the pretence.

"You're right..." he acknowledged. Farah waited patiently for him to continue.

"I'm not proud of the things we did to him. I justified it to myself by keeping my hands clean and turning a blind eye to what went on. If Mr Priest did the dirty work I could always feel like the better man but... in a way what I did was worse." He shook his head and sighed. "I have an 8 year old grandson. He looks so much like Svlad at that age. Sometimes I can hardly stand to look at him and remember..."

"It's far too little, far too late." Farah said with zero sympathy.

"Then why are you here? To kill me? Perhaps you're right. Perhaps I deserve it. Oh, I don't expect you to believe me."

"If I didn't I wouldn't be here. The Spring case. You had the chance to bring Dirk in, and you didn't. Not because you _couldn't_ , you _chose_ not to, maybe even sacrificing your career in the process. I came here to find out why."

Riggins looked down, then looked at her again, evaluatingly.

"For 11 years I was the closest thing he had to a parent. When we brought him in I firmly, _truly_ believed we were protecting the world from him, from the danger he represented. I believed that his power was more subtle, but no less dangerous than Marzanna's. If anything far more so. But as the years went by I got to know him. He was...desperately lonely, suffering anxiety and depression and absorbing all the physical and psychological abuse thrown at him"

Farah raised her gun again, eyes glinting dangerously in the half light.

" - and yet-" Riggins raised his hands slightly, quickly changing tack "there was still an irrepressible warmth and imagination in him. And not a cruel bone in his body. He just doesn't have it in him to _deliberately_ hurt another. I knew it would destroy him to be the cause of innocent people getting hurt or killed. I came to think of my role not as protecting the world from Svlad, but protecting Svlad from the world."

Farah paused a moment and then reholstered her gun.

"He's stronger than you think." She said.

"I'm starting to see that." Riggins acknowledged. "I have no right to feel proud of him...but I do. So. What is it you want from me, now we've established that you don't want to - or rather, that you _won't_ kill me?"

"I want you to help us take Blackwing down. For good."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're talking about my life's work-"

"I'm talking about Dirk's _life"_ she snapped back.

He looked confused. "Have they recaptured him?"

"Oh no, they want him out here solving cases. They planted a tracking device in his spine that can also administer electric shocks if he doesn't do what they say."

Riggins visibly paled at the news.

"They've taken away much more than his freedom, Colonel." Farah said quietly, for the first time showing a hint of vulnerability in the slight tremble of worry in her voice.

Riggins ran a hand over his face, pacing a couple of steps.

"What do you want me to do." he said, finally.

\----------------------

“So… that file on Dirk that you read…” Todd opened on the drive back.

“You don’t.”

“I don’t what?”

“You don’t want to know what’s in it. All I can say is that whatever you’re imagining Blackwing was like, it was worse.”

Todd felt a shiver on his skin.

“Actually I was going to ask if you were planning to tell Dirk that you’d read it?”

Farah looked at him, revealing the guilt that she’d concealed from Colonel Riggins.

“I…I will. I don’t know how he’ll feel about me knowing some of the things I read in that file but … he deserves to know.” She said with nervous determination.


	3. Chapter 3

When they got back, Todd checked in on Dirk and was alarmed to find an empty bed where he hoped Dirk would still be sleeping.

Todd finally tracked Dirk down to the roof, after half an hour of searching the building - the agency, his apartment, Dirk's apartment... one of the longest half hours of his life.

He sighed in relief and walked over to him. Dirk had his back turned to him and was looking out at the city. Without warning, he scrambled on to the small brick wall.

Without much thought, but aware that his heart had stopped beating, Todd ran to him and physically pulled him down, using his belt and yanking hard backwards so they both landed in a heap on the cold grey concrete of the rooftop.

Todd was panting hard as he knelt over Dirk, who looked stunned.

"Todd?" he asked in confusion, clutching his arm and wincing in pain at the jolt it had been given.

Todd laughed, a nervous, echoey laugh. "Dirk - are you ok? I'm so sorry I just..." he shook his head "For a moment there it kind of looked like - I mean, I know you would never - I thought you were gonna...jump" he swallowed, trying to catch his breath.

Dirk looked at him for a moment, then towards the edge of the roof where he'd been before.

"What the hell _were_ you doing anyway?" Todd asked.

"Go back downstairs Todd." Dirk said, almost mechanically, still fixated on that spot.

"I'm - what? No I...I've been looking all over for you."

Dirk looked down, still avoiding his gaze.

"You..." Todd said, and the silence seemed to stretch on like a distance between them until he finally worked up the courage to complete the sentence. "Tell me you weren't ...going to jump"

It wasn't a question, it was a demand, however softly spoken.

Dirk said nothing, and it was somehow louder than anything he'd ever said before.

"TELL ME" Todd screamed, and Dirk flinched, but still refused to look at him.

He scrambled over to where Dirk was and took hold of his shoulders, shaking him violently "Tell me! Tell Me!" he shouted at him "TELL me Dirk!"

Dirk struggled out of his hold and started to cry, putting his hands on his head like he had a migraine, like his mind was going to explode out of his skull.

Todd had never seen him cry before. He'd seen him _nearly_ cry many a time, but no matter how depressed or upset or angry or hurt or generally desperate Dirk was - he never cried.

It was a horrifying thing to witness. It was as though his soul were being ripped out of his body in wails of unspeakable pain and anguish. It terrified Todd, and broke his heart at the same time.

Todd put his arms around his friend and held him tight, held him like both their lives depended on it, and didn't let go.

After what felt like an eternity, the heart-wrenching sobs abated, and Dirk got control of his breathing, pulling away from Todd slightly.

"I don't want this any more Todd" he whispered. "I just want to be left in peace. I don't want to be controlled by the Universe and by the CIA to do what they want regardless of who gets hurt along the way, or who gets _killed_...regardless of how _I_ feel about it all...I can't do anything to stop it I'm just a bloody _puppet_ "

He took a breath and kept going "...and god knows I've _never_ had any control in my life but this is the last straw, I can't do this, I _won't_ do this any more I just... I can't Todd, I can't" he ended in a whisper, tears streaming as though he couldn't stop crying now that he'd started, like there was a reservoir built up over decades that had been waiting to come out.

Todd took a breath trying to get control of his own tears which had been flowing just as freely.

"Dirk I'm so sorry" he said quietly, "You don't deserve any of this"

He took his friend's shoulders and looked him in the eyes "But please god don't leave me." he said emphatically. "I wish you didn't have to go through this, I wish I could do something, _anything_ to fix this and make everything ok - and I don't have the answers, but Farah and me? We're not going to stop until we fix this. I know you don't believe there's a way but I'm asking you to believe in me, in your friends who love you, because I don't want a world without you in it Dirk. I won't accept that. I need my best friend ok?"

"Don't you see Todd?" Dirk cried out desperately. "You just happened to find me in time to pull me off that ledge - what a coincidence! You're being _manipulated_ Todd - I'm being manipulated, we're all just pointless bloody playthings!"

"No Dirk - you're wrong. When I was in that...that place with Amanda, inside the Universe or whatever, I saw what it was trying to do. And you're right - it, it doesn't take sides. It's not on our side right now, and it's not on Blackwing's either. But it' s not some evil mastermind or omnipotent, machiavellian overlord- it's not trying to control every single piece of the puzzle, Dirk. It's just trying to put people where they're _supposed_ to be. I'm _supposed_ to save you Dirk, because you're _not supposed to die._

"You once told me that these things aren't always what they seem. And in my experience, things usually seem to get worse before they get better. What if...what if _this_ is the first step, the catalyst for Blackwing being destroyed forever. Wouldn't you want to see that through? "

"You're starting to sound like me Todd...God if this is what I'm like I must be absolutely insufferable..." Dirk moaned.

"Once you've seen inside the Universe, you can't un-see it. It's not the bad guy, it's just trying to make all the machinery work like it's supposed to."

"And I'm a spanner." Dirk said in a dull tone.

Todd sighed. "I know you didn't choose any of this. I didn't choose to have pararibulitis. Shit just happens sometimes...but you're not alone, and it still matters Dirk. Together we help people and that still matters. Let's go downstairs ok? Let's go downstairs and I'll make us some hot chocolate and you can take some painkillers. Let's go downstairs and just hang out ok?"

Dirk gave a small nod and Todd helped him up.


	4. Chapter 4

Colonel Riggins entered the facility where he’d spent so much of his working life, and put the box on the back of a transport buggy. He entered the surveillance room where 4 guards normally watched the facility – but he’d timed it so that 2 of them would be on their coffee break.

“Freddy, Jim” he greeted them with open arms, and before they could register with confusion what he was holding in each arm, stuck them with the tranquilisers. He pulled them to the corner, and set the cameras to loop, and then waited behind the door. When the other two guards came back from their break he tranquilised them both, before returning to the transport buggy.

He had no idea how Project Incubus had managed to procure so many high quality explosives in such a short amount of time, and frankly he didn’t want to know. But he had about half an hour to place them all around the facility

\--------------

"Hi Bart"

Bart leapt to her feet

"Who are you? How'd you get in here?" she asked with surprise as the girl smiled at her in a way that was vaguely unnatural, but entirely unthreatening.

"My name's Mona. I was a project here once too. As for how I got in... I turned into an air molecule and came in through the ventilation system"

"You can do that?"

Mona nodded.

"I'm a holistic actress."

"So what, like, you can turn into whatever you want?"

Mona turned into a butterfly to illustrate the point. Bart laughed, examining the butterfly and jumping back as she turned back to her human form. Bart laughed again, she'd forgotten how good it felt to laugh, and this person was funny.

"Hey how come you ain't afraid of me? Most people are scared that I'm gonna kill them or something cos that's kind of my thing as an assassin or whatever but you don't look scared"

Mona looked perplexed for a moment.

"I can be scared if you want. I can be anything."

"No I like you not bein scared, it's nice. Hey - you wanna be friends?"

Mona smiled and nodded, and Bart jumped up with excitement. Then she stopped as something occurred to her.

"How come you're here anyway?"

"Do you know my friend Dirk?"

"Dirk Gently? Sure I know him. I didn't kill him like, 4 times or whatever. He got some new case or somethin'?"

Mona shook her head. "No..."

"So what is he... doing ok?"

Mona shook her head again and looked sad.

"What is someone trying to kill him again? I notice he gets that a lot. But I ain't had no communication from the universe or nothing..."

"Blackwing are hurting him." Mona said quietly. "He's my friend and they keep making him do things he doesn't want to do... I don't like it when people try to make me be a thing I don't want to be."

"Yeah I guess... you're like me and...Dirk's like me....and you're like Dirk...and we're all kinda used to being pushed around by the universe and blackwing and everyone..."

"They make him do what they say and if he doesn't they hurt him." Mona said, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I don't want them to do that." she added, to clarify. "So I thought maybe if I came here I could stop them hurting him and then I thought maybe you'd like to help"

"How'd you even know about me?" Bart asked.

"Dirk told me about you. He didn't like what Ken did, and he was worried that you might be lonely here. But Todd said you could get out if you wanted so it must be where you want to be right now. So I thought I'd come and check if it's still where you want to be or if you changed your mind."

"Dirk was...really worried about me?" She asked, clearly touched. "I thought he was still scared of me."

Mona thought for a moment. "I think he's both." she decided.

"Dirk's weird." Bart said, shaking her head. "So I guess you're askin if I want to bust outta here and finally kill all the people I'm s'posed to kill, like Ken and all the others or not right?"

Mona said nothing, just watching her curiously for a moment as she considered. Bart looked at the floor, picking at the thread on her cuff.

"Yeh I guess I could do that." She said finally. "It would be nice not to have the universe mad at me again. And also you're my friend and...Dirk's my friend sortta, and friends help friends so..."

Mona looked delighted and gave her a gentle hug which Bart looked bewildered by. If it had been anyone else she would have shoved them away, but Mona was more like a fairy and in some way, Bart was surprised she was even real.

Bart banged on the door and shouted the guard outside. "Hey, hey you, tell Big Business I wanna see him. I wanna talk to Ken."

\---------------------

In the Central computer room, a mosquito flew across the now empty desk of the supervisor, and flew into a USB port, turning into a flash drive. Nobody noticed. Not when the electronic link between Blackwing and Project Icarus was severed. Not when the archives, back ups, and back ups of back ups were all permanently deleted. When the main file structure started to disappear, one operative muttered something about the network going down again, but by that point, they could hear screams outside and decided to go and investigate.

Much to Farah’s irritation, Colonel Riggins was the first to make it to the van as she and the Rowdies covered their exit. Mona was next. Then after about half an hour, Bart came out drenched in blood and stood there, staring at the Rowdies and Farah in the absolute silence that now reigned. Not a single person in the Blackwing building was left alive. Mona ran to her and took her hand.

“Come on, come with us” she smiled at her encouragingly and Bart followed her to the van.

When they were a safe distance away, Farah gave the detonator to Martin, who smiled in appreciation of the gesture and pushed the button. The Rowdies howled as the explosion soared and shook the van slightly even from far away.

They started the long drive back. Bart stared at Colonel Riggins the entire way, and to say he felt ‘uncomfortable’ would be an understatement.

“You did good ninja girl.” Martin commented to Farah. 

“I’m not a ninja, and my name is Farah, but thank you.” Farah said. “We made a good team. All of us.”

\--------------

When they got back to the building that housed the agency along with their apartments, Farah turned to Colonel Riggins.

“Thank you for your help. But don’t think for a second that I’m going to let you anywhere near Dirk.”

He looked annoyed at this, then sad then just huffed, and noticing that every occupant of the van was staring at him, got out of the van and walked away.

Farah led the rest of them to her apartment, politely suggesting that Bart use her shower to clean up, an offer which she accepted with a shrug.

“I’m going to tell Dirk.” She said, making her way downstairs to Todd and Dirk’s apartment and paused. “I don’t want to overwhelm him so maybe, just me and Mona, and the rest of you stay here until I give the word?”

Amanda nodded and smiled at her, like the others she felt like a huge weight had been lifted, one that she’d been carrying so long she’d almost forgotten it was there until now she noticed just how much it had been weighing her down. She knew it would be 100 times more so with her boys, and Mona and Bart, and was looking forward to the impending celebration.

Time to get some drinks in, she decided.


	5. Chapter 5

Dirk had a hunch. They no longer brought him any excitement or curiosity, not since he knew he'd have to report it to the CIA that evening, and he sighed, following the hunch and turning on the TV. He flicked through until the Universe told him to stop on a News channel, where a picture of a huge fire from satellite footage was being shown.

"The top secret base located in Nevada was shown by aerial footage to have exploded in spectacular fashion last night, leading to a number of theories regarding the highly classified military base and what could have caused such a large explosion and subsequent fire. Reports of fire and smoke lighting up the night sky have been pouring in from as far away as California. Officials refuse to disclose the nature of the explosion although speculation has been pouring in from experts across the country. Possible theories have included nuclear testing and chemical weapon manufacture although officials have confirmed that it was not the result of any kind of terrorist activity."

Dirk stared at it, understanding intuitively exactly what it meant. For a moment he was stunned, and then he became aware of Todd standing next to him.

"Todd..." he whispered. "That's ... that _was_ Blackwing!"

"Does that mean... it's been destroyed? It's over?" Todd asked tentatively, not wanting to get his hopes up, but when Dirk turned to him it was clear that Dirk's hope level was at the maximum possible.

"It's OVER Todd, It's finally over!"

"Wait Dirk let's not-"

"No, I _know_ it is. The universe or...or something is telling me that this is it. This is finally the end of Blackwing. I don't know how or why but it is!"

Todd's breath caught, he was hoping desperately that Dirk was right, and that Farah and Mona were ok.

"You were right Todd! Somehow it's all connected - you were completely right!"

Todd pulled him into a hug which was gratefully received.

"But.. how did it happen?" Dirk asked in confusion.

Farah appeared at the door. "I think I can answer that." she said, unable to keep the grin off her face and Dirk barrelled into her for a hug. Mona wrapped around him as a jacket, carefully avoiding his broken arm.

“We ended it.” She said with a sigh. "I couldn't let them do that to you Dirk, I couldn't just stand by and do nothing and let them use you like that" she said and then pulled back from him, a guilty look on her face. "I didn't tell you what I was planning in case Blackwing had bugs anywhere...I thought it would be safer this way. But you’re free! We all are!” she rubbed his arm and the Mona-jacket at the same time.

He let out a shaky breath. “Tell me everything.”

Farah did. How Mona had been sent to the Rowdies and Amanda to ask them to supply the explosives and meet them in Nevada. How Colonel Riggins planted them all over Blackwing using his authorisation how Bart had killed everyone, how Mona had become a computer virus… all of it.

At the end, Farah sent for the others to come down.

\----------

Amanda and Dirk hugged first, as the Rowdies made themselves at home in the room.

"Hi Dirk." Bart said with a wave, standing by the door. Dirk pulled out of the hug with Amanda and approached her.

"Farah says you helped bring down Blackwing" he said with a little of the reserve he always had around Bart.

"Yeah I killed 'em all so there's no Blackwing people around now. I killed Ken and Mr Priest and all o' them so they don't sorta exist any more..."

Dirk breathed out in relief. "Thank you so much, Bart. I know it can't have been easy for you."

"All I did was what the universe wanted me to do all along..." Bart scratched the back of her neck looking awkward. "Which is maybe why you got hurt so I’m sorry about that. I stopped cos I didn't wanna be a killer no more cos I think sometimes when you kill people they don't like it... but then I didn't kill the people I was _s'posed_ to and because of that you got hurt. I guess whatever I do people are always gonna get hurt and all..." she looked a little depressed at the thought and Dirk approached her.

"I know how you feel." he said with a sympathetic look. "But if it's any consolation, you saved me. Thank you for saving me."

Bart looked at him sideways, as though to check he wasn't making fun of her, and seeing that he wasn't she gave a shy laugh. She continued with more confidence.

"There was this time when you were all high on love drugs or somethin' and you were real nice to me, you said you felt like we were practically brothers and sisters or somethin' because we'd been through a lot of the same stuff."

"I did?" Dirk asked, confused. He didn't remember that at all. She nodded.

"Then aside from all that, I remember bein' hurt and not liking it so I figured I'd maybe stop them from hurting you and the Universe wouldn't be mad at me no longer...also you're my friend and Mona's my friend and friends help friends so" she ended with a shrug.

Dirk beamed at her. "Why don't you join the agency? We'd love to have you."

"That's real sweet of you Dirk but you know I have to go fix some things the universe wants me to cos maybe there's some other people gettin' hurt if I'm not killing the people I'm s'posed to you know?"

"I understand. But you're always welcome here."

She turned, hesitated, and then launched herself at Dirk and gave him a hug. He recovered quickly enough to return it before Amanda announced:

“We are having the biggest party in the history of the interconnectedness…of the whole freakin’ universe!”

Farah, Todd and Dirk had migrated to a slightly less chaotic part of the apartment, namely Dirk’s bedroom, and were sitting on the multiple very brightly coloured blankets and cushions on the floor.

Farah took Dirk’s hand to get his attention.

“There’s something I should have told you earlier. When we were looking for you, the first time I mean, I used my brother’s credentials and… “ she took a breath, hesitating slightly “I looked at your file. The file Blackwing kept on you.”

Dirk looked confused. “Ok?” he said with a shrug. “I assume you did what you felt you had to to try and fine me”

“Yes but – I should have told you. Some of the things in there, most…really _all_ of the things in there are…personal. They’re not things I should have found out by reading about them in some file, but only if you chose to tell me about them. And you didn’t. I took that choice away from you and I’m sorry.”

“Farah. Almost all of my life has been under near-constant surveillance. I grew up watched by dozens of soldiers and scientists and doctors and they continued to follow me around even after I notionally ‘escaped’ from Blackwing. If I can live with all of them knowing what happened, I can certainly live with you finding out. I trust you, Farah. Todd can read it too if he wants.”

“I’d rather wait for you to tell me.” Todd said. The fact that hundreds of people had disregarded Dirk’s right to privacy didn’t mean Todd had to be one of them.

Dirk swallowed nervously. “I will tell you.” He said quietly. “But not right now” he gave Todd an apologetic smile and Todd smiled back at him reassuringly.

The next day was spent entirely in cleaning and tidying up the remains of their apartment and by the end they sat down, exhausted.

"You know before, when you said everything is connected?" Todd said, breaking the companionable silence. "You do... _get_ what the connection is, right?"

Dirk turned to him curiously.

"Farah, Riggins, The Rowdies, Amanda, Bart, Mona, me... "

Dirk frowned.

"You really don't get it do you?" Todd said with amused astonishment. "It's _you_ Dirk. You're the connection. None of us wanted to see you hurt because we love you. Each in our own way maybe but still. Protecting you was the reason, the _only_ reason, any of this happened"

Dirk's eyes welled up at this and he looked at Todd with the bafflement he reserved for when Todd said something particularly nice to him.

"Protecting...me...." Dirk echoed thoughtfully, as though the concept was a new and confusing one to him. Todd supposed it probably was.

"Just have more faith in us next time ok?" Todd said quietly. "If we have to take down a top secret military government base to keep you safe, that's what we'll do. "

"How have I managed to be so lucky?" Dirk pondered.

"Lucky." Todd repeated disbelievingly. "Lucky..." he said again shaking his head. "Dirk you're literally the unluckiest person I have ever met - you've had the shittiest childhood imaginable and bad luck follows you wherever you go"

"Well....yes you might have a point there but I also have the most amazing friends on the planet. Although I suppose I would do the same for you, so there is that."

"Dirk, can you promise me you'll never try and kill yourself again?" Todd blurted out suddenly.

Dirk looked at him guiltily. "I promise. I'm sorry I scared you..."

"You did. You really, really did."

"Thank you for saving me" Dirk said "I seem to be saying that a lot these days. I must need an inordinate amount of saving. Really if-"

"You do, and you're welcome" Todd cut him off, seeing his mind start to wander. "And you saved me first so... all I really did was add hot chocolate to the equation." he shrugged.

"In that case I'll make you a hot chocolate and we can call it even." Dirk said, making for the kitchen, pulling Todd along with him.

"Dirk" Todd said, stopping him and putting a hand on his arm, looking at the brand on his wrist and not pulling away though Dirk instinctively flinched.

"I know it's not...completely over. But we'll get through it ok? Together."

Dirk relaxed and nodded. "Recovery from trauma is next on my list Todd, right after hot chocolate."


End file.
